Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Awake. Bad cramping. Too much loss to lay down. Been feeling OK since being prayed for Sunday AM but hangin' on by fingernails this minute. *sigh* Final results due today. Hoping to avoid any additional follow-up. A hospital stay at this point would be like salt in a wound.

Monday, August 11, 2008


Final blood test today. Taking it more for the doctor's sake than anything. He made it clear last week that he wanted to be absolutely sure about what's going on before recommending what to do next. This should bring his confirmation since we're already 99% sure of what's occurring.

Friday, August 8, 2008

9 weeks 5 days - part two

We have reason to believe that the worst option is unfolding. Physically, emotionally, spiritually circling the wagons for the rest of the weekend. The *exact* day as 2002. Not really able to appreciate the irony at this point. *sigh*

9 weeks 5 days

More of the same. No change with the nether regions really. Some stomach pain - don't know if it's muscular (from my ab muscle hernia) or cramps yet.

So I'm physically uncomfortable as well as emotionally exhausted from staying "up" and "on" for the kids. DaHubby sees the cracks in my facade when the Vikings go to bed but some of that facade is for him as well since he had his final presentation last night (he got an A by the way *smile*) and then an interview at the nuke plant 30 min north of here for the third round of his full-ride scholarship/grant interview process.

Emotional exhaustion has made for a blessing of deep sleep but all I seem to want today is a day spent alone in a quiet house.

But, the Vikings are already asking "Mom, what are we doin' today?" so I'm off to play activities director until DaHubby gets home.

Later thought: oh, and did I mention that today is the 6 yr anniversary of losing our first angel? *sigh*

Thursday, August 7, 2008

9 weeks 4 days part 2

Well...the appt from you-know-where is over. Fifteen minutes turned into nearly an hour and half in a small room with very expensive equipment (they put me in the ultrasound room - nothing like torturing a poor soul) wth two small children.

My test results are in but are still not giving us a clear picture of what is going on. My hCG Monday was 21,000 units. Yesterday is was 23,000 units. Supposed to be about 40,000 units. That 40K is the "average" gain in pregnancy hormones yet since it is still rising and because our OB practice is proudly and loudly a pro-life Christian practice, they want more information and use some more wait-n-see before determining for sure a final decision about what's going on.

So, more waiting and another blood test on Monday. *sigh*

9 weeks 4 days

Woke up to more bleeding. *sigh*

Yesterday, the OB receptionist and RN's agreed that I need to keep my appt today that was scheduled a month ago for my first physical exam. *sigh* Unfortunately, I'm out of impromptu babysitters for the kids so have to take them with me - so I'm praying for no exam obviously. And, despite not having heard any test results, I'm guessing the worst with this morning's progression.

Appt is at 11am. And, I have several other errands to run including getting DaHubby new dress shoes for his big interview tomorrow! *big proud smile*

I so appreciate everyone's support. Thank you all very much. I'm hoping to be home early this afternoon with some new information.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

9 week 3 days

10:43am: Home from OB's office. Completed second set of bloodwork. Neither my OB nor his nurse are in today so I'm guessing tomorrow will be the earliest I'll hear anything.

10:41pm Nothing new to report. Have heard nothing.

Am noticing a trend of spotting red first thing in the AM then brown or nothing the rest of the day.

DaHubby and I have been daydreaming about explanations: what if it was twins and I'm only losing one? What if I'm a week earlier than I thought and THAT'S why no heartbeat visible on u/s Monday (yet at 9 weeks, we saw no heartbeat for Flicka either and she arrived safely)

Told my mom tonight when she observed that I seemed less upset: What's gonna happen will happen. Whatever happens is meant to happen. I have a hubby and 2 babies to take care of. Life goes on in the meantime. And, whether I lose this baby or by God's miraculous hand I go to term, either way it'll be a great testimony to God's power and providence.